I can barely recognize myself
when I look in the mirror.
I don't know who I am looking at.
It certainly isn't the me of the 80's
or the 90's
That girl looked much more put together than the me I see today.
When you no longer know who you are
where does that leave you?
at the precipice
at the brink
at the edge
but what is the next step
do you jump
collapse cave in  giveup
or do you crack open
shed this skin
become new again.
decide

i can't form complete thoughts
fragments are the best I can do
unfinished sentences
words hanging in the air
there is a line in the Zepplin song Kashmir
"like thoughts inside a dream"
that is what my thoughts feel like
I am not unhappy
I am not happy
I accept that my life is what it is, but I don't know why I feel so undone.
I need my OWN life
I feel as if I have never had a life of my own. one that I was comfortable in, at least not for very long ***expand on thought***\
I only desire to sleep
That is my escape
sleep is my peace.
I know I am carrying around a great deal of anger and resentment that I need to recognize and work through. It exhausts me. Wears me down. My thoughts so repetitive and unhelpful.
What the hell does that even mean???
What the hell does any of this crazy-ass bull shit even mean..............
I am full of shit.....and I need to change this sooner rather than later.