Tapestry

“My life has been a tapestry
Of rich and royal hue;
An everlasting vision
Of the ever-changing view;
A wond'rous woven magic
In bits of blue and gold;
A tapestry to feel and see;

Impossible to hold. ..”

Carole King Tapestry 1971 http://www.lyricsg.com/159360/lyrics/caroleking/tapestry.html

So, for some reason when I read this question I could not quit thinking of this song.  I played this album (yes, it was vinyl) until, some ten years later, it needed to be replaced by a new one. Then it was replaced by a cassette tape, a CD and now it is on my iPod.  It has changed form, as we all do through the years, and yet has retained its beautiful songs and amazing message.  And even the message has changed with the passing years because my perception is altered with the passage of time.  The lyrics to the songs of my youth have a different meaning now than they did when I first heard them.  “My life has been a tapestry”, I had no idea at 14 years old what those words would mean to me at the age of 53. I am sure it never even entered my mind to think of such a thing. Life is like that.  We enjoy playing the “where will I be in ______ years” game with ourselves. But I wonder how often the course that we set out on is the one that we ultimately travel?  And is that necessarily a bad thing? Of course we must make plans, we must have goals and dreams and visions of our futures, and these are the things that spark our desire, the making of plans, the fulfillment of goals and dreams. But what of the times when life has made plans for us?  Those are the times that test us and force us to reconsider our course. It is at those times that it is imperative to have flexibility, a positive attitude and strong sense of who we are on the inside.

 To know my own inner truth.  To have the ability to look at my life with an objective eye is a great gift.  I would not want to be so attached to the outcome of my original plan, that I would fail to see that my goals have shifted, as I myself shift, in my perceptions and attitudes , and I may need to alter my course. Maybe change it completely.  It is those changes that have created the tapestry of my life. Just as a painting of one color would be a bit dull and a song played in one note would hardly be a song at all, a life lived at one level, at least in my opinion, would be less than what life was intended to be. I am not the same Chris that I was when I was 14, or 24 or 30, 40 or even last year. And I hope to continue to be a more evolved version of myself with each passing year. Because, like my favorite music has changed form and the manner in which it is delivered, I too will change form and the manner in which I choose to deliver my own song, and yet the beauty and inherent meaning of that song will still be my own. 

Peace.

Chris

Thoughts of Transformation

 Losing a dearly loved pet is often a life transforming event. Losing dearly loved folks to suicide is no picnic either. I have had more than a few friends choose that path, even more deeply impacting were that choice by my former husband,(1999) nephew(2003) and 3 years ago my brother, the question mark that they leave behind never seems to fade away, although the pain subsides. Having the ones that you love pass, no matter the form that passing takes, and no matter whether they are 4 legged or 2, is always a soul transforming event.( At least it should be ,in my opinion) Grief is a tremendous teacher...Not an easy one, but if approached in an open minded and open hearted way, perhaps the most transformational.  I have found that angels are everywhere (and have always been) we just never took the time or possessed the correct perspective to acknowledge their presence. sadly, for most of us,( especially us of a certain generation,) it takes a deep life loss for us to even begin to notice what has always been waiting within us, When we are presented with the chance to awaken, we should always take that chance, the wonders will never cease. My hope for the younger folks, is that they will accept this inner knowledge without as much censorship as many of the older of us and accept wonderment, miracles, and joy as just a natural part of their exsistence here in the physical realm. Many blessings go out to you on your adventure. ♥ :) cm

In my humble opinion

True happiness doesn't have a cause. When this is fully accepted and understood there will be advancement. It is a freeing concept. Nothing can MAKE you happy therefore NOTHING can make you unhappy. There is a beauty in that and a freedom and more than a small amount of peace. Letting go of the struggle to BE anything at all is the highest level of freedom and inner peace that we will ever attain. Realizing that we already ARE all that we are meant to be. . Peace.

Causeless Happiness

Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, It's off to work I go....

So the day of re-emergence is here. I have gathered up all that I have learned in the past 10 days (and the past 20 years!) and head out to shine my light on my little section of the universe. Today I will remember that I have complete control over how I feel, how I perceive and how I experience. No one can remove my joy from me unless I allow that. My vibration will attract to me all that is likened to it. If I do not feel pleased with what I am experiencing I need only be still and listen. I am the answer to all of my questions. Love, joy, peace and flow are what I desire for this day. Breathe.
Thy will be done.
Namaste~~

"Jump and the
Universe will catch you. If you
are standing on the edge of the cliff of the unknown, simply remember
...that you are always supported by the Universe. This scary precipice is
just an illusion created by your mind. When you step off of it, you
will be carried by the wings of Grace. Truly trust yourself and you
will soar higher and farther than ever before! One, two, three...and JUMP And Soar....

So, This morning I was thinking....

When I woke up this morning I was thinking about judgement, release of attachment to results, and how this was almost the end of my vacation. I was thinking about judgement because I believe it is probably one of the most insidious and damaging concepts that we carry around with us. Practically everything is a judgement of some kind. Against and about ourselves or against and about everyone else. I have very bad experience with judgement. I would love to say I am non-judgemental but that would just be a bold faced lie. What I can say is that I am improving in the release of my judgements and am moving more towards acceptance. Years ago I was in AA. The best thing I learned in AA was the Serenity Prayer. Accept the things I cannot change. It has taken me many years, (not to understand, because intellectually I know what it means,) the difficult part is applying the principle to my life. I judge. Judging is not accepting. Change the things I can. Guess who I can change.....hmmm. Not too hard is it. Only Chris. Only myself. Only me. Guess what I can change.......hmmmm. My perception. That is about all. So I like to think that I am getting closer to the Wisdom to know the difference. But my God, what  a struggle I have usually created for myself. And knowing that I am returning to work on Monday is why I was thinking about these concepts when I woke up. For the last 10 days I have been blissfully happy. I stayed up late, woke up late, did meditation daily, interacted with like minded folks, ate when I was hungry and rested when I was tired. That ends Monday. At least the schedule part of it ends. What doesn't need to end is my blissful state. What doesn't need to end is my attitude. But I am afraid. Because I have some trouble in this area.  And that is why I am contemplating judgement and attachment and acceptance. I have difficulty maintaining my equilibrium around others. I worry way too much about what everyone is thinking of me. I worry about being judged because I am a judger. So perhaps if I release this I will no longer be concerned with others thoughts about me. They probably aren't even thinking about me anyway. That is my EGO. (Something else I learned a lot about in the AA Program. But that is for another day.) This is what I need to remember: At no time is anyone keeping me from being who I am, no one is keeping me from having what I want, NO ONE has that power---that is my delusion, my easy out, always has been. It is where 99%  of my suppressed anger stems from. It is never someone not understanding me or not agreeing with me that is the problem The problem is ME ALLOWING what I percieve as other peoples judgement of me to separate me from me. I am offended by their doubt because that doubt, that questioning makes me doubt and question myself. That doubt is really MY DOUBT, my insecurity. If I were connected and confident with who I AM, with MY TRUTH, MY SOURCE, MY CHRIS-NESS,  at no time would I feel pain or anger or fear when faced with the opinions of other people. Everything that causes me discomfort in my interactions with my peers is Always about me  Not about them, my perception of myself is skewed. And if someone IS unnecessarily unkind to me I need to remember that that is about THEM not about me. So, I feel that I am finally in a place where I can line up with my own ability to create and produce my own relief. Instead of being nervous and apprehensive about returning to work I will be excited and joyous in seeing my co-workers and meeting my day to day tasks with optimism and grace. I will remember this:
My answers are always with me, my solutions are within, I create my bliss, my serenity and my joy, I simply must be still and listen and accept. Blessings :)

Inherent in the Question, Lies the Solution

 One thing that has held me back, for so many years, from my becoming has been my exaggerated concern for w

My Mission Statement

It is My Mission to Allow, to Thrive, to Enjoy, to Play, to Honor MY Truth, to Embrace Beauty, to Extend Kindness and Joy. To continually Expand and to Always Choose Love . Blessings and Light to All.

So Today I Was Thinking......

Is it fair to keep our feelings hidden and to then be angry at others for not being able to know how we feel? We are so expert at hiding how we truly FEEL it should not be a surprise to us when those around us fail to interpret or recognize those feelings. If we want to be known we must allow ourselves to be knowable. Hmmm. Vulnerability....a very scary word to a Secretive Scorpio woman such as myself, one of the most difficult feelings to allow. Trust. Another tough one. The armor that we use to protect becomes the very thing that keeps us from the intimacy that we crave.
The jailer and the prisoner occupy the same space. hmmmm.