Debra, I had to reply to your post. I felt as though I was reading my own personal journal. I cannot tell you what it feels like to know that I am not alone in my beliefs or feelings or whatever this qualifies as.. Maybe I wouldn't even need to explain it to you, it sounds as though you "get it" I have been opening myself up to being more aware of like minded individuals and have not been disappointed by what I am discovering. There are, indeed, many of us who feel very much the same, but because we have conducted most of our lives in a "polite" manner and always simply put on that "smile" and rode out all of the types of encounters that we dread those around us do not really know that we feel the way that we do inside. I have been contemplating this: we may be surrounded by many who feel exactly as we do but they are simply "putting on the show" same as us. A shift in perception, an awakening, is all that might be needed to find that we need only turn our attention slightly in a different direction to discover a whole new life, a whole new world of possiblilities. A world where we not only belong, and are good enough but where our presence is vital and important.... Thank you for writing. I hope we meet again sometime. May your days be blessed by acceptance and authenticity. Happy New Year

Like this one....

What is the biggest source of stress you have in your life? What is the most effective technique you have used to handle it? 

In order to answer this question adequately I must be a bit lengthy. I have been told I possess resilience. As a youth I suffered a great deal from stress related illnesses. At 8 years old I had a stomach ulcer, at 11 shingles, constant stomach problems and severe insomnia. Severe enough that I was prescribed Librium ( I was in 7^th grade).  I was always ill. I continued on in that vein throughout High School, (an extended psychiatric stay in 1973) numerous therapists, drugs, cures and what have you. After High School I struggled with many issues, the worst 2 being alcohol and drugs. (not the prescribed drugs although they were also a problem). I was “diagnosed” severe bi-polar.  More troubles, more drugs (prescribed and otherwise.) Through all of this fun I always held a job and mostly lived on my own. I even had fun sometimes. Other times, not so much. In the 80’s I got married and 2 years later I got divorced. More adventures: good & bad. Another visit to the hospital (extended again).  But still worked, still maintained an excellent outer persona.  The 90’s brought sobriety through the AA program for a few years and then I had my son. Did I mention I was single & sober at the time? Ah, well this event was a total game changer! In the past 16 years, little of that girl that I was has remained, (except perhaps my life saving sense of humor, one of those 8 important resources for coping mentioned on page 80 of our text book.) The other 7 I have learned.  I have studied at great length subjects related to stress & illness, coping strategies, alcohol & drug abuse, depression etc. etc. etc. I am familiar with Seyle’s  General Adaption Syndrome (GAS) and how chronic stress can lead to chronic illness. Also with PTSD & depression and the many different ways of coping with these things: behavior modification, biofeedback, relaxation techniques and many others. I am 53 years of age. I am continuing my education at this time in order to continue to improve and expand on the me I strive to be. In the past 5 years I have lost 35 pounds, gotten divorced (for the 2^nd time), quit smoking (after 30 years), I do not drink at all, I eat healthy food, I exercise, I rest and I deal with what life hands me as it is handed to me. Not before and not after. I believe I possess “HARDINESS”(pg 70 in text), in that I am COMMITTED to my personal welfare and the welfare of my child, I feel I have CONTROL of the outcomes of my events and most importantly of my reactions to those outcomes and I rise to the CHALLENGES when I am faced with them. Every obstacle is a potential for self improvement. I care deeply about the welfare of others, but not at the expense of my own well being. I am employed at a workshop that provides care for the chronically mentally ill, so I am reminded daily of where I do not want to be and how easy it is to be there. I possess an “INTERNAL LOCUS OF CONTROL” which according to the text book on pg 81 means that, (and I am paraphrasing here): “that I believe that I am in charge of my own destiny and am therefore able to adopt more positive coping strategies”. I have bad days, I have great days, I have average days. I make mistakes. I fall short at times. But I never allow falling short to be an excuse for “falling out.” And with that I will close. Thanks for your patience in my verbosity.  

More from school

The definition of capitalism is : an economic system based on private ownership of businesses. By this definition WalMart is simply a participant of our capitalistic system. Businesses are not required by any law that I am aware of to make people "happy". They are required to follow the rules of fair trade and commercialism and tax and employment laws set forth by the government. WalMart practices competitive advantage which is the advantage gained that makes a product more desirable than the competition; persuading customers to buy their product rather than their competitors product. Every business in existence practices this or they would not be in business for very long. Consumers are offered many choices. Walmart is only one of them. If you don't like WalMart then cast your vote by not sharing your dollars with them. Job seekers are also offered a number of options in the job market. Retail jobs are prolific and vary in difficulty, benefit packages (if they have any), working conditions, pay rates etc, etc, etc. If you are seeking employment in this arena and feel that WalMart is unfair or substandard in some way then I would say, don't fill out your application for WalMart. If WalMart is conducting business in an unethical or illegal manner then I would beseech those that are being subjected to these indignities to speak up on their own behalf, there are many ways to do this. That WalMart outsources jobs, well, so do many other companies. Dell, Microsoft, Comcast etc. etc. etc. this is not an illegal practice that I am aware of and I am sure that the folks in China and India are grateful for the opportunity to work as much as anyone in this country. People in the United States are not the only people who need to work and provide for their families.
WalMart. I am neither for it nor am I against it. It is a retail store. I am a consumer. I can make my choice based on my personal needs. The debate will continue ad nauseum, until we move on to the next topic. And there will always be one of this I am certain. My best advice to anyone: consult your own higher authority when making decisions regarding your personal practices.
Peace. :-) Chris 1-11

From my business class last year 2010

I have been sitting here for quite awhile reading all of these posts and searching the internet for information and thinking about how small the world has become. There was a time in the not so distant past that China and India were simply places on the globe and they meant very little to me and the world I lived in. That is no longer the case. It seems to me that in order to attain success in the current socio/economic environment it will be vital to expand our vision and to see everything in a fresh perspective. We are in un-chartered territory as a people, as a country and as a global community.  It is very exciting and also very frightening.   I feel that the future of business of all kinds will require a more unified view of the world. “Us” vs. “Them” will need to be replaced with a more inclusive way of seeing things.  Everything is business and everything is personal. I would urge you to read this interview. I have included a small excerpt below. If we let go of our pre-concieved ideas, our judgements and our fear and just for a moment imagine the possibilities. ?..

Top of Form	Christiane Mell	22 Jan 11  11:28 AM MST
The law is often times used as the excuse for NOT acting ethically. People will justify their behavior by stating that "well, this is legal" as if that is the end of their responsibility on the matter. So, No, legal is not ethical. Ethics is responsibility. Responsibility to self, and responsibility to society. Laws help us to define what our boundaries are, perhaps as a guideline of behavior. I personally feel that the reason that the "books" are overflowing with laws, and laws and more laws, is because a great many people "forget" how to act in a socially responsible manner. We don't behave in a way that reflects accountability, so the lawmakers try to control this behavior by making what should be a matter of simple civility into a matter of law. Ethics do more than imply social responsiblity, I believe that they ARE social responsibilty. I have worked hard as a parent to instill this simple fact of life into the very core of my son. And as far as I can tell it is working. If each one of us would just take the time to ask ourselves those 3 questions every time we faced a difficult decision, well, if only..... Is it Legal? Is it balanced? How will it make me feel ABOUT MYSELF???? And pass it on to your children. If only.... :-) Date Modified: 22 Jan 11  11:30 AM MST Bottom of Form

It seems to me that there are as many reasons to start a non-profit as a for profit enterprise. The greatest difference is the desire for the “profit” of course and it also seems that different types of people are attracted to one rather than the other. In today’s climate, though, I believe that more and more of the sole “for profit” entrepreneur’s will be looking at social responsibility, social accountability and a way to feel not only fiscally responsible but also socially responsible. Even if they are just putting up a front of being interested in the well-being of others they will have to at least acknowledge that there is a greater purpose to being in business than to make a profit only for yourself. Those days may be slowing down a bit. That is my opinion.  But in looking at these many, many websites and organizations; I smell a trend. Anyone else?

2 articles worth the read. ( IMHO)

 “Of course, it isn't just about the ability to reap charitable donations; there are plenty of other reasons to launch a nonprofit social enterprise. The confusing thing is there are just as many reasons - if not more - for social entrepreneurs to set up a for-profit business as well.”( read more…..)@

http://www.entrepreneur.com/startingabusiness/smsmallbiz/article195242.html

 “Another way to distinguish between the two types of entrepreneurship is by identifying what social entrepreneurship is not:" (read more @...)http://blog.startupprofessionals.com/2010/04/how-to-be-social-entrepreneur-vs.html

Chris

words

I am a woman on a continuous, lifelong search for information, inspiration, and clarification. I am always willing to look at things in a different way and to see things in a new perspective. I grow where I am planted and if I am uprooted, I dig myself in and grow again.

A Poem

 After all what does it really mean.

The rising up of passion.

The boiling of blood.

The stirred ash of desire .

 After all

What is to be expected

What can be gained.

This has all been felt before.

 longing is nothing new.

 An easily recalled state of being

Certainly not surprising

At most an inconvenience or

 slightly uncomfortable.

No worries though.

Not to worry.

After all

Feelings are easily washed away.

Swept under the rug.

Hidden in the dark corner of the closet.

Swirled away in dark amber liquid..

 Where these types of things belong.

Hidden from sight and forgotten.

One can’t fret too much about it.

After all.

 After all

These words have been said before

 None of them are new or

Fresh
 Or even mildly remarkable.

Really of no significance at all

 To one so jaded.
So time worn.
So  weary of words .....

Words and their myriad of meanings.

The way that they drone  on and on.

Creating sound.

Lacking meaning .

Solving nothing.

So that in the end they really mean less.

Ever so much less than nothing.

Nothing.

After all………

My Humble Opinion

Seeing life through the filter of our deeply ingrained beliefs is a very difficult concept for people to see beyond. The current election (and any election) is often a time when we get a clear view of how strongly people cling to their personal beliefs. It is difficult to even get them to admit that what they are speaking of are not "facts" in the actual meaning of the word. Making statements such as, "Democrats are giving the country away", "All Republicans are right-wing, conservative, wealthy  & self-serving ", “Obama is a socialist” “ The Christian Right have taken over the Republican Party”, etc.etc. etc. those are not facts, but would I like to try and convince  anyone of this? No thank you. I am not a huge fan of political discussions. I find that there is far too much anger and resentment  underlying most political conversations.  Our current climate is very contentious and people speak of “facts” when I am not hearing many, if any, facts at all, I hear a lot of  “he said”, “she said”, “they said”s  being strewn around as “facts” but it seems that we have confused  the editorial page and the front page in our current climate.  My point is, that any time that we do not take the time to think for ourselves or we immediately jump to a conclusion or rush to agree or disagree based on the words of a self-proclaimed authority, no matter who that authority may be, we do ourselves a grave disservice. Gather information and then take that information and go out and check the facts. And don’t use the excuse that we don’t have time to do research ourselves, I feel, that that is precisely how we have become such a reality-tv based, sensational headline seeking, anger filled society in the first place. We have a responsibility to ourselves to think and to question. But that is just my opinion. J

A Story I wrote

Opening Doors:

A Story Of Moving Forward

By

Christiane Mell

July 10, 2011

“When one door or happiness closes another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”  -Helen Keller

It was similar to being shaken awaken from a deep sleep, the feeling that overcame me when I read the above passage. I had just come into the house after a sun bath and meditation that I had been treating myself to during my vacation last summer.  I had turned to my Facebook page and was confronted with that passage, unable to read further, I continued to stare at this passage when I realized I had been focusing my attention on a door that had closed over 5 years ago. That door was not going to reopen; I did not even want it to.  And yet, my vision had become so fixed upon that closed door that I had become incapable of seeing any other door.  And this led me to the question of:  “What would the next chapter of my life be about, what was I going to do next?”  My future beckoned to me in a way that it had not in the months and years prior to this particular moment.  I knew that an epiphany had taken place. It was time to take action.

In the five years prior to this event, I had been struggling along, after a divorce that had left me in a less than prepared state of advancement.  I had a job which kept the bills paid, although not much more than that.  I had a 16 year old son, and raising my son had been my only focus for the past 16 years. I had made a promise when my son was born to put my energy into being the best mother that I could be and I had fulfilled that promise: I had raised a fine son;  kind, intelligent, compassionate, a young man looking forward to a bright and successful future.  Next year will be his senior year of high school. The day was soon approaching when he would not need me in quite the same manner as he has in the years preceding.

Something that I had always wanted to do was get a formal education. I had also always found a myriad of reasons why this was something I could not do. My litany went something like this:  “I’m too old, I’m too busy, my son needs me, I don’t have time, I’m not smart enough, I don’t have the money…” and on and on it went.  My excuses had been repeated for so long, I wasn’t even conscious of them anymore; they were simply a whirring sound, like a white noise machine, drowning out other sounds that might awaken me from their hypnotic quality.  The day that I read that passage, that whirring noise suddenly stopped. My mind was quiet.  I quickly filled out an information form for DeVry University and sent the inquiry before I could change my mind.  Before day’s end my phone rang displaying  DeVry University on my caller ID.  I didn’t answer. The noise had started up again, “whir, whir, whir, too old, too busy, my son needs me, I don’t have time, I’m not smart enough…” on and on it whirred and buzzed.  The phone rang again. Again, I didn’t answer. “Can’t afford it, not smart enough, too old, not time, buzz, buzz, buzz…”  The next day the phone rang, and before I could think I answered the phone: the voice of an admissions advisor from DeVry. The one thing she said to me that I couldn’t forget was this “If you don’t do this, what are you going to do?”  I stepped forward.  I opened the door. 

At any point in this process, I could have stopped; I could have allowed my fear to overtake me. I could have switched that noise machine back on.  What I did instead was continue to move. I didn’t let my thoughts take over, I turned off the tape. I filled out paperwork. I pushed through the terror that overcame me more than once.  Before I knew what had happened, I was a 50 year old woman about to embark on the pursuit of an Associate’s Degree in Accounting. I had done it.

So here I am, 10 months and 8 classes later, still moving forward through that doorway.  Over these past months there have been many times when I was overwhelmed; times when I questioned my sanity and my ability to make a sound decision. There are days when I wonder if I am crazy.  I wonder why I am doing this, what do I hope to accomplish? To be honest, I don’t always have an answer. I focus my attention on the task at hand.  Often, as I sit at my desk fatigue and frustration beginning to get the better of me, I look up at my bulletin board and see the Helen Keller passage written carefully on a note card, next to that note card is a letter dated 4/26/2011, which just happens to be my son’s 17^th birthday, the letter begins: “Dear Student, Congratulations! You have made the DeVry University Dean’s List for the Fall 2010 term…” I am filled with a combination of joy, pride and excitement.  I renew my resolve, I pat myself on the back, and I promise myself that I will continue opening the many doors that I am sure will be in my future.